If Nina can do it, so can you!
“You’ve helped me so much, Biek! I thought I was just going to sort out my closet, but, good gods…I’ve sorted out soooo much more than that thanks to this process.”
I want to put one of my beloved clients in the Spotlight: Nina. This lady went from total confusion in her wardrobe to feeling like a fierce, confident superwoman. And I am honored that I was able to witness and be part of this journey.
When Nina described her closet, her first word was confused. Her wardrobe was filled with different styles mashed together from different phases of her life; her pregnancy, faulty online purchases, old styles of about 15 years, items with sweat stains, hand-me-downs from friends, clothing that is sort of good enough, but not really what she wants, and things that just don’t fit well. Her closet was full of colorful stuff – which is something she really liked.
Nina is an American thirty-something woman, mama, and wife living in Singapore and is probably the most cheerful person I have ever met. She is a department head in a school and has a history as a journalist. And her closet was filled with good enough pieces.
I see your closet as a reflection of your inner world. So when I see a closet full of good enough clothes, this also means you don’t value yourself enough for the best things in life. Nina goes for good enough events in her life, instead of really honoring her full potential.
Nina chose to work with me because “You are a beautiful person in body, spirit, style and mind, and I thought this business could not only empower me, but women everywhere!”
I asked her to describe herself, and DAMN I wish I had asked her this also before we started working together, so we could see the ginormous transformation this beautiful being went through. Read this confident piece about herself:
Nina is a spitfire of energy and laughs. Hailing from the Rockies of the United States, she left the snowy tree line at 24 as a journalist for National Geographic and other magazines, which led her on a tour of the world and into a life as an expatriate. Now 15 years later, she has set down roots in the tropical metropolis of Singapore and exchanged her press pass for a teacher’s pass. As Head of High School English as an Additional Language at UWC, she helps our future’s brightest create and collect their own stories. Her goal is to empower others, which she does best when feeling put together in a well-fitted but comfortable dress and a pair of boots.
BEING
Before we started the Design Your Life journey together, Nina felt like a little kid walking around in Mom’s heels. Her clothes were ill-fitting, including frequent moth holes, and she had no clear fashion style, just a mishmash that reflected different whims in her life. Nina really wanted to present herself fashionably and professionally, but it often took oodles of time in the morning to figure out how to put herself together.
Part of the work is also creating an awareness of those nagging voices that always tell you what to (not) do. Everything starts with awareness because that brings clarity. And clarity brings change.
“I now know that the little voice inside my head who nags at my confidence and questions my decisions is not this terrible monster, but a voice who wants to ensure my safety, much like a mother — a well-meaning but at times overbearing scaredy cat. With that understanding, I can better manage that voice of what I had perceived as self doubt and I am more aware of my own voice as I step into motherhood myself.”
“You’re my beacon in the dark! Oh my god, Biekon.”
BECOMING
Nina is quite the exception of my clients, in the sense that she actually had a very small wardrobe. And I don’t mean closet space; I mean the actual number of clothes. And still, it was just not fitting, or just not completely right. She was only wearing a quarter of her full wardrobe. There’s a drawer of tops, shorts, and pants. Again, not many of those – but also not enough. Nina decided, because she just doesn’t know where to start looking for conscious brands, that she would rent her “smart casual” style of dress for work and brunch things, from Style Theory.
At the beginning of our journey, Nina briefed me that she loves colorful and fitted clothes. Not too baggy. The interesting part was when we went through her closet the first time to declutter, most of the colors disappeared. They didn’t survive the test. And I also immediately noticed that Nina did not like tops with cleavage – most of her favorite clothes had a high neckline, with a halter-like cut at the shoulder. That gave a clear insight into Nina on what to look out for in the future.
“I now know that navy blue is my go-to color. That may sound like a small thing, but it revolutionized my style, making sense of all the pieces I had collected in my closet, and now these things fit together with intention, like a complementary jigsaw.”
One big revelation was also, after analyzing her closet and lifestyle, that she actually missed more casual clothes for the weekends or playing with her daughter in the park. Before we did the analysis, Nina always thought she needed more smart-style clothing for work and going on dates on the weekend.
“I was admiring some of the styles on the mannequins. It was the first time where I was able to say, those clothes are really beautiful, but they’re not my style. I’ve never used those words before! It was such a revelation.”
This made consciously shopping so much easier. It saved so much time, energy, and money.
“What was fun about today’s shopping experience, is that it was the first time I really shopped with the question ‘Does this feel good?’ in mind. Before, I had always shopped with ‘Does this look good?’ To consider both questions made me feel like I was a better, more thoughtful shopper. “
BELONGING
Most choices have a lot to do with money. Nina found herself often in fast fashion outlets like H&M because she felt like it was what she could afford. “The clothing is cheap, and it never quite fits, but it fits well enough for $30.” She is done with having this mindset and being part of the process of unworn clothes and recycling. But how to designate an amount of money for more quality clothing, is something of a mysterious power for Nina.
She got into the terrible habit of holding her breath when using her debit card toward the end of the month, just hoping it would work. It breaks my heart to see women struggling (as I’ve been there!) with their finances, even when they have a decent salary and work their asses off. So we worked on her mindset, a Confident Spending Plan, and a number of brands that are worth investing in. “I’m not yet a pro, but Biek helped me so much! She essentially pulled the veil back for me so that I could see how to manage my own money. It was life changing!”
When I ask Nina what happened in the 6+ months we worked together, in terms of ideas, revelations, and insights, this was her answer:
“I got my proverbial sh*t together, not just my closet and clothes, but also my priorities and my vision for the future. Design Your Life was so much more than I expected. I thought it would be wonderful to sort out my style, but, with your guidance, I ended up sorting through much of my life!
This program is life changing. It is so much more than honing in on your style, though that is an exceptionally fun part of Design Your Life. But really it is about sorting through your closets — the ones with your clothes and the ones with your skeletons.”
What I find important to know is what you’re most proud of. “Everything!! This program took me so far!” Nina now loves her closet, clothes, and style, and she gets almost daily compliments on her look. But it’s also about having a much clearer understanding of who she is now and where she is going in life. Nina never realized how much she had to learn about herself. Visualizations are a big part of the trajectory and for her, these were a powerful part of the program and her personal growth.
“I am a more confident, put together person because of Biek and Design Your Life.”
THE KALEIDOSCOPE
My business is called Biekaleidoscope because we create a new lens. A conscious, mindful, confident lens. We use that through your wardrobe, from different angles – and this way of thinking will have a domino effect on the other facets of your life. So I asked Nina how her lens affected her life.
“I feel the knock-on effect every day. When I feel good, I feel more confident. Obvious, right? And yet it took some help from an outside eye to help me focus on that connection so that it was clear and present to me in my outer appearance and in my inner thoughts.
With that confidence, I have been able to better communicate my needs, boundaries, and desires in all my relationships, from family to the workplace. I feel I am a better role model for my child and students, and, because I had a clearer trajectory for my future in mind, when the opportunity for a promotion came about, I went for it, even though I had only been with the organization for 1.5 years. I got that promotion!“
I am absolutely honored to have witnessed the growth of this phenomenal woman and couldn’t be more proud of where she is now, as a woman, mother, wife, and leader.
Did you recognize where Nina was and did it tickle your interest to also get where she is now? Or do you have some questions about the trajectory? Feel free to book a call with me and ask all your questions.
We need the best version of you in this world. We’re in this together!
